-April 13th, 1976
-This is the earliest instance of evidence for Lil’ Dingus’ activities- although his involvement is not certain.
A worker’s rights rally was planned for this day about 2 months in advance. The Goblin Drilling Company workers had become dissatisfied with their dropping wages and had planned a rally to gather public support and to go on strike. Two men by the names of Fungle Dungleson and Gleeb Glorberman, thought to be the organizers of this rally, were assassinated by an unknown gunman at approximately 9:37 AM, about 4 hours before the rally was to start. An individual matching the description of Lil’ Dingus was present until approximately 2 minutes before the shots were fired.
It is unlikely that the assassin was Lil’ Dingus himself, however if the individual matching his description was actually Lil’ Dingus, it is likely he had a hand in the assassination. His association to The Goblin Drilling Company is unknown, however it was recently discovered that Lil’ Dingus had a connection to Gleeb Glorberman, although the exact nature of this connection is still unknown. It is likely that the two were on poor terms, possibly giving a motive for his involvement.
-October 3rd, 1978
-The first known mention of Lil’ Dingus, under the name “The Little Bastard.”
The name “The Little Bastard” appears in a confiscated record book, alongside a brief description of the individual. Both Glorbus Glimbo and Donald Trump appear on the same record. “The Little Bastard” has been concluded to be Lil’ Dingus based on the description and the appearance of the aforementioned individuals.
The record in question appears to be a guest list for a gathering. The nature of this gathering is unknown and the rest of the confiscated records do not mention Lil’ Dingus or shed any light on this gathering. This is the only known instance of Lil’ Dingus going by the name “The Little Bastard”, implying that he had already been active for some years before this and shed this alias shortly after the meeting. Investigation into this meeting and Lil’ Dingus’ activities before this date are still ongoing, and there is currently no information as to why he shed this alias.
-April 7th, 1980
On this day, Lil’ Dingus received the insurance payment from his father’s $120,000 life insurance policy. The official cause of death was stated to be a heart attack, however a later investigation of the home revealed that the outlets in the kitchen had been tampered with- likely electrocuting his father, which matches with where the body was found as well as a later autopsy. When later questioned, Lil’ Dingus claimed that his father had tried to fix the faulty outlet himself previously and had simply failed to correctly wire it, however his neighbors that had visited in the days prior said that he never mentioned a faulty outlet. Although the testimonies did not line up, the case was eventually thrown out for lack of evidence.
-January 27th, 1981
Lil Dingus and Glorbus Glimbo both founded the company “Glimbo’s Little Toy Factory.” The company initially oversaw two factories that designed and manufactured children’s toys, although this would quickly grow to a dozen factories over the next 6 years. It’s suspected that the company was created using the insurance money that Lil’ Dingus gained from the death of his father, and was merely a front used to launder money for Lil’ Dingus and Glorbus Glimbo, and possibly other individuals.
-November 2nd, 1982
-This is the only indication we have of Lil’ Dingus’ involvement with Jeffery Epstein. If he was involved with Epstein, then Lil’ Dingus’ crimes and affairs may go far deeper than we realized.
This was the first of several annual public tours of the company’s toy factories. Logs acquired after the disillusion of the company indicates that most, if not all, visitors were logged and their residences tracked before and after their tours. For the next 3 years after this first tour, an individual by the name of Gobgug, also known as “The Throngler”, would visit the third factory on November 28th every year. This always took place after the tours and his visit would be marked down as “delivery.” It is unknown why these visits took place, or what was delivered- if anything.
Gobgug was recently discovered to have been an associate of Jeffery Epstein. It is unknown if this association extends to Lil’ Dingus or Glorbus.
-April 20th, 1984
It was a bright cold day when personnel within Glimbo’s Little Toy Factory discovered multiple unauthorized transactions and transfers using the company’s operating capital that had not been logged. Although this incident was kept internal, there are some surviving unofficial logs of this event.
-January 2nd, 1987
Lil’ Dingus invested heavily in the Goblin Regional Bank this day, and soon became a major shareholder in the bank.
-May 8th, 1987
This was the day that Glimbo’s Little Toy Factory dissolved after all of it’s holdings and operating capital were liquidated, and many of it’s higher ups disappeared. Lil’ Dingus went off the grid around this time, and didn’t appear again for several years.
This event caused over 18,000 workers to lose their jobs overnight, causing a crisis in the city of Goblin Cleveland- which was home to 13,000 of those 18,000 plus workers.
-May 21st, 1987
In the weeks since the May 8th disaster, countless displaced workers and destitute families began to riot in the streets demanding justice for what Glimbo’s Little Toy Factory had done. On this day, the police were sent out to quell these riots and ended up killing 304 people, while injuring an estimated 1,853. This would later become known as the “Glimbo Massacre.”
It is unknown if Lil’ Dingus was directly involved in the massacre, but the later discovered bribe of the local commissioner makes it likely that Lil’ Dingus, Glorbus Glimbo, or another associated party is responsible.
-August 4th, 1987
This is the day that Goblin Cleveland’s commissioner, George F.R.L., was put on trial for accepting bribes and the 3rd degree murder of the people who died in the Glimbo Massacre.
Commissioner George had been bribed two days before the incident with approximately $80,000 worth of jewelry by an unknown party. During the trial, George refused to name who had bribed him, however while he was being held in a local jail after the first day of court, he was found dead in his cell. It was later ruled that he had been poisoned, but the murderer was never found.
-Early to Mid December, 1988
We dug deep for this one, and found possible records of Lil' Dingus in Kamurocho, Japan. It seems he may have escaped Goblin Cleveland due to his possible involvement in the Glimbo Massacre. Records show that there was a conflict occuring in the towns of Kamurocho and Sotenbori in Osaka between rival yakuza clans over the "Empty Lot", a barren patch of land in Kamurocho which was the key to the "Kamurocho Revitalization Project" meant to turn an enormous profit in exchange for ownership of a large portion of Kamurocho's land.
Lil' Dingus may have temporarily worked for one Keiji Shibusawa, a powerful and influential lieutenant of the Tojo Clan's Dojima Family, as an informant and field scout working towards obtaining the Empty Lot in exchange for a small sum of the profits. Shibusawa was questioned by police after a mysterious ex-yakuza fought and defeated him on board an unknown boat, however, no mention of Lil' Dingus was made at the time, though it's suspected that Shibusawa wanted to protect some of his accomplices in the case he was released from jail early. We also suspect that Lil' Dingus was partially responsible for the torture and murder of Tetsu Tachibana, CEO of Tachibana Real Estate. It's believed Tachibana was after the Empty Lot in order to dismantle the Tojo Clan, and Lil' Dingus provided the information needed for the Dojima Family to kidnap Tachibana. It isn't known what happened to Lil' Dingus afterwards, or how long he stayed in Japan.
-June 4th, 1990
Lil’ Dingus appears in records again, now located just outside of Tijuana, Mexico. He had purchased an estate near the city that he operated out of for the next 2 years. It is unknown what he did in this time.
-June 7th, 1991
The Goblin Regional Bank began to claim the old factories owned by Glimbo’s Little Toy Factory. Statements were never made on why or how they obtained ownership of the old lots, but investigation leads us to believe that Glorbus Glimbo himself was involved.
-December 18th, 1993
Lil’ Dingus bankrolled the demolition of the old toy factories under the name “John Dingusmancy.”
By this time Lil’ Dingus stopped appearing in Tijuana, Mexico. It is unknown where he was during this time, but it is suspected he returned to the United States as he began to operate there once again.
-August 28th, 1994
Two franchises opened their doors on the same day: Goblin Great-Mart, and Big Green Threads. Both of these franchises had their stores built on the old lots bought by The Goblin Regional Bank. Although neither Lil’ Dingus or Glorbus Glimbo are on any records for either franchise, recent investigation proves that they were both involved with the stores’ operation behind the scenes.
-February 8th, 1999
A man, only known by the name “Jschlatt”, commited mass homicide in New York City, killing at least 4 people in the span of a few minutes. The suspect later escaped in a van of unknown make or model- it was only identifiable by the acronym “GWWTKL” on the side.
-February 17th, 1999
The aformentioned suspect, Jschlatt, was spotted in Tijuana, Mexico. Further investigation revealed that Jschlatt was housed at Lil’ Dingus’ estate for 6 days before returning to New York.
This was the first known time Lil’ Dingus was associated with GWWTKL, although it is clear that he was already familiar with them at this point.
-September 8th, 1999
Shortly after former leader of Wario Land, Wario Wario, escaped from his collapsing country, he took up residence in Lil’ Dingus’ estate. He would continue to reside there for the next year. During this time, Lil’ Dingus also made contact with Kermit The Frog.
-November 30th, 2000
Lil’ Dingus met with Dr. Trayaurus and Kermit The Frog. Shortly afterwards, he paid Dr. Trayaurus $450,000.
-January 8th, 2001
Stinky the Villager was under investigation by the FBI at this time, and after one agent was seen by Stinky, he disappeared in a GWWTKL van and was not seen again for some time. It is suspected that Lil’ Dingus was the one to extract him, based on witness reports.
-July, 2001
Lil’ Dingus bought multiple offices in Manhattan, New York during this month under the name “John Dingusmancy” once again. He also insured the buildings quickly after purchase.
-September 11th, 2001
The day that went down in infamy, the 9/11 terror attacks on the World Trade Center caused the deaths of over 2,900 people. On the day of the attacks, Lil’ Dingus was spotted at a barber shop on the opposite side of Manhattan. Shortly after the first tower was struck, he fled the state, with a man matching his description being seen throughout Pennsylvania for the next 2 days.
On this same day, Kermit The Frog was captured attempting to flee the same way. After months of interrogation, he revealed that he had met with Dr. Trayaurus and Lil’ Dingus on November 30th the prior year, however he escaped captivity before any other relevant information could be obtained.
-September 19th, 2001
Lil’ Dingus received insurance payments from the office buildings he had purchased leading up to the 9/11 disaster, the estimated total of which is believed to be over $45 million. The exact number is unknown, as the exact number of buildings he purchased in proximity to the World Trade Center is not known.
-November 20th, 2001
A man matching Lil’ Dingus’ description was seen getting into a car with George Bush during the evening this day. It is unknown why he was there, as George Bush has declined involving himself with Lil’ Dingus. Recent investigations have uncovered that the two had met at least twice prior to the disaster that year. However, investigation into this connection is still ongoing.
-December 2nd, 2001
This is the day that the FBI officially began its investigation on Lil’ Dingus. Soon after our investigations began, Lil’ Dingus himself stopped appearing for a number of years. We believe that Lil’ Dingus had connections that informed him of our activities. Ever since, we’ve been thoroughly investigating all of our connections, and have only found limited evidence of his involvement in government affairs. It is still unknown if or how he gained information on the FBI.
-December 1st, 2003
An employee of Big Green Threads was found attempting to smuggle $100,000 through airport security. The employee was detained, but before they could be questioned, they committed suicide via cyanide pills. An investigation began into Big Green Threads right after this incident.
-March 16th, 2004
Glorbus Glimbo, under the name “Glorbo Gleebus”, created a new company under the name “Green Shipping Co.” About a month later, Lil’ Dingus began to invest in Glorbus’ rival companies in the area. It is believed that a rift between the two had formed at some point, and Lil’ Dingus was working against Glorbus’ interests at this point.
-May 19th, 2004
The Goblin Regional Bank requisitioned a shipping yard in Virginia that the owner had taken a loan to keep afloat. Later investigations revealed that the shipping yard had been intentionally sabotaged by an unknown party, however it is suspected that they were affiliated with the Goblin Regional Bank.
-October 24th, 2004
Known members of the GWWTKL were caught in Iraq. After a short altercation, the sole surviving member of the group admitted to being there on behalf of Lil’ Dingus. They had purchased supplies for Al-Qaeda further east and had delivered them shortly before being caught. It is still unknown why Lil’ Dingus was supporting Al-Qaeda.
-January 8th, 2006
Lil’ Dingus purchased his last known residence on this date. The paperwork for the sale was destroyed, and very few records exist. It is unknown what he paid for it or whom he bought it from. It is likely that he purchased his home in Goblin Cleveland to be closer to the main headquarters of The Goblin Regional Bank.
-Late 2006 – 2007
During this time, The Goblin Regional Bank ramped up in activity, giving out many predatory loans, requisitioning many properties, and accumulating as many assets as possible. The bank soon became bloated with toxic assets, and was crumbling.
-December 24th, 2007
The Goblin Regional Bank collapsed, and just like with Glimbo’s Little Toy Factory, its assets and capital were liquidated shortly beforehand and multiple executives went off grid. This event directly fed into the ongoing 2008 Housing Crisis and the Great Recession. Following this incident, Goblin Great-Mart also collapsed, and several executives and store managers were found dead.
As a direct result of The Goblin Regional Bank collapse and the dissolution of Goblin Great-Mart, it is estimated that over 170,000 people in the South-Eastern USA were left in financial ruin and 44 executives and managers involved with Goblin Great-Mart were killed. The people indirectly affected by this collapse are uncalculable.
It was because of this incident that the FBI discovered Lil’ Dingus’ involvement with The Goblin Regional Bank, and most of our information was discovered after this point.
-June 8th, 2008
Glorbus Glimbo was confronted by three FBI agents in Memphis, Tennessee this day. However, all three agents along with Glorbus were killed by a former Goblin Regional Bank employee by the name of Gregory Dingle. Dingle was unfortunately killed in a shootout with the police before he could be interrogated, however it is likely that Lil’ Dingus orchestrated this event.
-April 21st, 2009
Dr. Trayaurus was apprehended in Iran, and interrogated for several months. Eventually, Dr. Trayaurus revealed his involvement in 9/11, as well as several other individuals, namely Lil’ Dingus. However, these individuals also included Kermit The Frog, Hog Rider, and Stinky the Villager- whom he claimed was the ring leader.
-September 19th, 2009
Dr. Trayaurus escaped capture, and has not been seen since. It is not known how he escaped or if he had help. It is possible Lil’ Dingus assisted Dr. Trayaurus, but there is no evidence for this.
After this Lil’ Dingus went dark for many years, we have nothing on him during this time.
-May 23rd, 2016
In Goblin Cleveland, an LGBTQ rights rally had been going on for several days, when several GWWTKL vehicles showed up at the rally. The passengers inside exited the vehicles and began to assault members of the rally, resulting in 14 deaths, and 87 injured. After the attack, witness reports identified a man matching Lil’ Dingus’ description among the GWWTKL assailants.
-March 3rd, 2017
Lil’ Dingus attempted to establish an online presence on the social media website known as Twitter.com, however his account was taken down within 72 hours and his location was tracked to Miami, Florida. FBI agents were quickly dispatched, however he was long gone by the time they arrived.
-April 4th, 2020
Lil’ Dingus began to make multiple public appearances starting on this date, attempting to become a street performer. The FBI almost intercepted Lil’ Dingus multiple times, but he has continued to evade capture, killing 2 FBI agents and injuring 17 more.
-August 20th, 2024
Lil’ Dingus created a SoundCloud account and a YouTube account, and began to upload his music and a podcast known as “13 Reasons Why I Hate Liberals” to the accounts. Several attempts were made to track him, but none have succeeded yet.
-September 5th, 2024
Lil’ Dingus took a flight to Tahiti, and at approximately 11:32 PM, the plane crashed into the ocean 20 miles off the coast of Tahiti. 87 passengers died, and 4 were injured. Everyone who boarded the plane was accounted for except for Lil’ Dingus, whose body has not yet been recovered. Lil’ Dingus has been entirely inactive since this event, and it is unknown if he survived.